Chapter 47: - Page 3 of 5

The Two Señoras

(English version of “Noli Me Tangere”)

Doña Consolacion straightened up furiously; the remark about washing hurt her.  Do you think that we don’t know who you are and what class of people you belong with? Get out, my husband has already told me! Señora, I at least have never belonged to more than one, but you? One must be dying of hunger to take the leavings, the mop of the whole world!

This shot found its mark with Doña Victorina.  She rolled up her sleeves, clenched her fists, and gritted her teeth.  Come down, old sow! she cried. I’m going to smash that dirty mouth of yours! Querida of a battalion, filthy hag!

The Muse immediately disappeared from the window and was soon seen running down the stairs flourishing her husband’s whip.

Don Tiburcio interposed himself supplicatingly, but they would have come to blows had not the alferez arrived on the scene.

Ladies! Don Tiburcio!

Train your woman better, buy her some decent clothes, and if you haven’t any money left, rob the people—that’s what you’ve got soldiers for! yelled Doña Victorina.

Here I am, señora! Why doesn’t your Excellency smash my mouth? You’re only tongue and spittle, Doña Excelencia!

Señora! cried the alferez furiously to Doña Victorina, be thankful that I remember that you’re a woman or else I’d kick you to pieces—frizzes, ribbons, and all!

S-señor Alferez!

Get out, you quack! You don’t wear the pants!

The women brought into play words and gestures, insults and abuse, dragging out all the evil that was stored in the recesses of their minds.  Since all four talked at once and said so many things that might hurt the prestige of certain classes by the truths that were brought to light, we forbear from recording what they said.  The curious spectators, while they may not have understood all that was said, got not a little entertainment out of the scene and hoped that the affair would come to blows.  Unfortunately for them, the curate came along and restored order.

Learn this Filipino word:

sampúng piraso ang mukhâ