Chapter 30: - Page 5 of 7

Juli

(English version of “El Filibusterismo”)

The poor girl had besides to endure all the reproaches of her relatives, who, knowing nothing of what had passed between her and Padre Camovra, laughed at her fears.  Would Padre Camorra fix his attention upon a country girl when there were so many others in the town? Hero the good women cited names of unmarried girls, rich and beautiful, who had been more or less unfortunate.  Meanwhile, if they should shoot Basilio?

Juli covered her ears and stared wildly about, as if seeking a voice that might plead for her, but she saw only her grandfather, who was dumb and had his gaze fixed on his hunting-spear.

That night she scarcely slept at all.  Dreams and nightmares, some funereal, some bloody, danced before her sight and woke her often, bathed in cold perspiration. She fancied that she heard shots, she imagined that she saw her father, that father who had done so much for her, fighting in the forests, hunted like a wild beast because she had refused to save him.  The figure of her father was transformed and she recognized Basilio, dying, with looks of reproach at her.  The wretched girl arose, prayed, wept, called upon her mother, upon death, and there was even a moment when, overcome with terror, if it had not been night-time, she would have run straight to the convento, let happen what would.

With the coming of day the sad presentiments and the terrors of darkness were partly dissipated.  The light inspired hopes in her.  But the news of the afternoon was terrible, for there was talk of persons shot, so the next night was for the girl frightful. In her desperation she decided to give herself up as soon as day dawned and then kill herself afterwards—anything, rather than enditre such tortures! But the dawn brought new hope and she would not go to church or even leave the house.  She was afraid she would yield.

So passed several days in praying and cursing, in calling upon God and wishing for death.  The day gave her a slight respite and she trusted in some miracle.  The reports that came from Manila, although they reached there magnified, said that of the prisoners some had secured their liberty, thanks to patrons and influence.  Some one had to be sacrificed—who would it be? Juli shuddered and returned home biting her finger-nails.  Then came the night with its terrors, which took on double proportions and seemed to be converted into realities.  Juli feared to fall asleep, for her slumbers were a continuous nightmare.  Looks of reproach would flash across her eyelids just as soon as they were closed, complaints and laments pierced her ears.  She saw her father wandering about hungry, without rest or repose; she saw Basilio dying in the road, pierced by two bullets, just as she had seen the corpse of that neighbor who had been killed while in the charge of the Civil Guard.  She saw the bonds that cut into the flesh, she saw the blood pouring from the mouth, she heard Basilio calling to her, Save me! Save me! You alone can save me! Then a burst of laughter would resound and she would turn her eyes to see her father gazing at her with eyes full of reproach. Juli would wake up, sit up on her petate, and draw her hands across her forehead to arrange her hair—cold sweat, like the sweat of death, moistened it!

Mother, mother! she sobbed.

Meanwhile, they who were so carelessly disposing of people’s fates, he who commanded the legal murders, he who violated justice and made use of the law to maintain himself by force, slept in peace.

Learn this Filipino word:

lakad-susô